i fucking love raisin bran

just ate the last bowl of raisin bran from the box i bought for our camping trip as dessert. i think of these notes as the backstop for my memories, a time capsule, and that's why when days go by without my having written much i feel a kind of anticipatory loss swelling in the background of my life, even though the memories i don't want to lose are still with me for now but feeling that if i don't press the petals in between the pages they'll be dust soon enough.

right now deborah is on the other side of the living room writing today's entry in her hobonichi (or maybe a previous day—sometimes she gets behind and then catches up on multiple days in one writing session), which during this phase of our lives she is much more diligent about keeping up with than i am about writing these notes (longtime readers can you imagine that in my relationship i am not the person who is most committed to quotidian autobiographical writing?!). nobody else but her ever reads her hobonichi (except me sometimes when she's in the mood to share it with me) even though in addition to the writing itself capturing her life (and my life by extension) it's beautifully laid out with stickers and stamps and different colors and decorative flourishes and i am always amazed that she can just make this beautiful thing just for herself because i have never been able to make myself write (or, more broadly, create) anything without the knowledge that i will share it with other people very soon after i finish (hi).

anyway before i forget on deborah's birthday weekend we went camping for the first time in our adult lives with our closest friends who go camping a lot and have always wanted us to join them and it was really nice, even if most of what was nice about it to me was hanging out with our closest friends for a multi-day chunk of quality time as much as it was the fact that we slept and ate outdoors. i'm thankful that the oregon coast is cooler than portland, even though that always seems weird and broken to me, since i thought it was going to be too cold for camping but actually it was just the right temperature and i wouldn't have wanted it to be any hotter. i'm thankful that the campground we went to let us rent a fancy tent and it came already set up and that our friends had sleeping bags we could borrow. i'm thankful for s'mores. i'm thankful that though i have stopped eating breakfast cereal for like a year at this point i told myself that while everyone else was having savory camp breakfasts cooked on a fire or whatever i would have cereal and then in hmart on the way out of town i went through a real stoned and eventually got raisin bran which felt like too middle-aged and i fucking love raisin bran.

rirang

what is your pentathlon mine is half marathon, bong hits, eating oreos, falling asleep during a movie.

i'm thankful that i just have one more sprint (two weeks) of work and then i have a one month sabbatical, the longest i have not worked in 13 years. i'm thankful for all the things that i think about doing (and writing and building and recording) during that period and to hope that i can charge up my internal batteries