11/13

i'm thankful for lauryn hill's mtv unplugged, which i've been listening to a lot the past few days. i'm thankful for the liquid clarity of her nylon string guitar, the rich fingerpicking and the snaps of her strums. i'm thankful for false starts and rhythmic hiccups, for the moments when you can hear her smiling. i'm thankful for the ragged sweetness of her voice, floating above the rhythm of the instrument. i'm thankful for the looseness of the songs, how she will hang on a line and repeat it, over and over again, making it resonate and dance through the air. i'm thankful for the whole album, but especially for "i find it hard to say (rebel),"

"I find it hard to say, that everything is alright

Don't look at me that way, like everything is alright

Cuz my own eyes can see, through all your false pretenses

But what you fail to see, is all the consequences

You think our lives are cheap, and easy to be wasted

As history repeats, so foul you can taste it

And while the people sleep, too comfortable to face it

His life so incomplete, and nothing can replace it

And while the people sleep, too comfortable to face it

Your lives so incomplete, and nothing can replace it

Fret not thyself I say, against these laws of man

Cause like the Bible says: His blood is on their hands

And what I gotta say, and what I gotta say, is rebel

While today is still today, choose well

And what I gotta say, is rebel, it can't go down this way

Choose well, choose well, choose well...

...choose well, choose well, choose well

And while the people sleep, too comfortable to face it

Your lives are so incomplete, and nothing, and no one, can replace it

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

And what I gotta say, and what I gotta say

And what I gotta say, and what I gotta say

And what I gotta say, and what I gotta say

And what I gotta say, and what I gotta say

Is rebel... rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel

Rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel

Repent, the day is far too spent, rebel... rebel!

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up...

Wake up and rebel

We must destroy in order to rebuild

Wake up, you might as well

Oh are you... oh are you satisfied

Oh are you satisfied

Rebel... ohhh rebel

Why don't you rebel, why don't you rebel?

Why don't you rebel?

I'm fading myself down now..."

and for the hard-won hope of the closing pairing of "so much things to say" and "the conquering lion." i'm thankful for her joyful laughter at the very end of "the conquering lion." i'm thankful for one of the spoken interludes on the album, where she says this:

"You already are the standard. What are you trying to fit a standard for? We were each created to be individual standards, you know. And weā€™re trying to fit into a standard? It doesnā€™t make any sense, you know. So now Iā€™m just, you know, after all that, Iā€™m just ready to be me. And itā€™s a lot to work through, you know, because all of us have hidden in these little boxes purposely, because of parts of ourselves that we were unhappy about. And itā€™s because we didnā€™t understand, you know, because thereā€™s all this social doctrine that says, you know, that the infinite God, with all this expression, who created every single one of us, absolutely different, on purpose, wants everybody to fit into the same suit. But like, you know, thatā€™s deception. Thatā€™s deception."

i'm thankful for the show chewing gum, which is champagne bubbly and sunlight bright and had d and i repeatedly convulsing with laughter on the couch last night, the most i can remember laughing in a long time. i'm thankful for mannequin challenge videos, for the beauty of people stopping time in the midst of their days in order to bring joy to others. i'm thankful to know that it's possible to stop time, for this tiny but real example of the power that people can possess when they work together for a common goal. i'm thankful for "black beatles." i'm thankful for the ecstatic jazzy strut of d'angelo's "back to the future (part 1)" and for the organ chorus of frank ocean's "solo":

"It's hell on Earth and the city's on fire

Inhale, inhale there's heaven

There's a bull and a matador dueling in the sky

Inhale, in hell there's heaven

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Solo, solo

Solo, solo"